


Your Brown Eyes Make Coffee Jealous

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 00:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10424757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He was selfish, after all; he lived a life of jealous love and he didn't think that would ever change.





	

**Author's Note:**

> ♪ insp. by (also: title taken from) jaxon rose's _jealous love_

**B** lack faded out of Youngho's vision with a gentle shake of his shoulder. He pulled his face out of his chemistry book and looked to the source of the person who dared to wake him-- and his heart softened right away, aggressive thoughts fading. Ji Hansol was next to him, laying on his stomach. He was smiling, amused, and he asked, "Have a nice nap?" and Youngho answered that, in fact, he had. He stretched out his tired arms and lay back against the book when his tense body became relaxed again. He and Hansol should be studying-- of which Hansol reminded him, waking him again as his eyes slipped shut. Youngho groaned at him-- "I hate school--" and Hansol laughed, because he knew Youngho didn't mean it. He told Youngho, "Wake up," and Youngho told him "Make me," and Hansol began to ruffle Youngho's hair. Nothing; Youngho found it soothing, even. He flicked Youngho's nose. Nothing. He poked Youngho's side. Nothing. He leaned in and kissed Youngho's forehead. Youngho's eyes popped open, and he sat up. Hansol rolled his eyes at that, but he had amusement written on his lips, and Youngho found himself wanting another kiss.

 **B** lue filled Youngho's heart when he leaned in and Hansol pulled back-- with a burst of laughter and a "Stop being so weird, Youngho," because he wasn't being _weird_ ; he was being himself, and he was in love with Ji Hansol. Hansol didn't understand, though. For some reason-- through the soft touches and the constant stares and the absolute _want_  that shone through everything Youngho did for Hansol, Hansol didn't understand. Hansol had a boyfriend; he thought he knew what love was. Youngho wished-- _wished_  he could convince Hansol that what he knew was false.

 **B** rown eyes looked into Youngho's in the midst of his thought; and they detected the fall of Youngho's mood. Hansol leaned back in-- simply fell back to where he had been before Youngho attempted to kiss him. He frowned; eyebrows pulled closer to the beautiful brown of Hansol's eyes, and he was worried. He asked, "Youngho? You okay--? You're pretty deep in thought," and Youngho nodded. He leaned in again, but Hansol leaned back. His frown left, and he laughed again, and he pushed at Youngho's chest-- " _Stop_ , Youngho--" and Youngho let himself laugh just a little, because Hansol's laughter pained Youngho-- he was just a joke to Hansol, wasn't he?-- but it was so goddamn beautiful; Youngho couldn't help but adore him.

 **G** reen flashed through Youngho's mind as he remembered he wasn't the only one who adored Hansol. The green of envy filled his heart as he was reminded of Hansol's boyfriend-- Hansol's stupid boyfriend that didn't deserve him at all. Youngho couldn't say that he was much better-- did he deserve Hansol? Hell no. Did anyone? Hell no. Hansol was too good for anyone; but Youngho still felt the envy twist into vines around his heart; he still felt like he should be the one for Hansol, like Hansol should know of his love. He wanted Hansol so bad-- why couldn't Hansol see that? Why couldn't Hansol want him, too? Why couldn't Hansol leave his shitty boyfriend? Why?

 **O** range buzzed in Youngho's pocket, and he pulled his phone out to look. His case was bright, bright orange-- a gift from Hansol. He turned his phone over after an amused glance at the offending color, and he saw a new text from Hansol: _Thinking about something fun?_  Youngho looked at him. Hansol had his phone in hand, smile on his lips-- and Youngho adored him all over again. His envy faded away-- vines crawling back into his heart, hidden deep inside. A smile lit up his mouth, and he told Hansol, "I was thinking about you," and it was true--

 **P** ink blushed Hansol's cheeks as he became shy-- as he found himself flattered. Years of knowing Youngho and he still blushed at the stupid things Youngho said. Youngho felt quite flattered at that, but the pink would never reach his cheeks. It remained a color native to Hansol's face; it remained another precious color of Hansol that Youngho absolutely adored.

 **P** urple caught Youngho's sight as Hansol rolled onto his back, stretched out his arms. His sweater lifted with the little stretch, and Youngho saw the ugly sea of purple-- the wrath of Hansol's boyfriend. Youngho scanned the bruises, and an ugly feeling settled in his chest, an unpleasant taste in his mouth. He gulped against the dry of his throat; he blinked against the ugly color he was seeing. His lips tingled-- a want to kiss the bruises, to heal Hansol's pain. Hell, Hansol went through so much with that asshole. He didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve an ounce of this. He deserved so much more.

 **R** ed flooded Youngho's vision as anger took over his body-- as his hands curled into fists and he felt the urge to fight the ugly _beast_  that had done this to Hansol. He hated it; he hated the fact that he had to bite his tongue against the anger because Hansol would hate him if he did anything to his boyfriend. He hated himself, because he was really so selfish that he would rather watch Hansol be hurt and keep his love than to save him and risk Hansol pushing him away. Shouldn't he sacrifice Hansol's love for him in order to save Hansol? Shouldn't he want Hansol's safety over his love? _Shouldn't he?_

 **W** hite distracted Youngho. It slid over Hansol's stomach as Hansol's laugh sounded out, and Youngho looked up to see that Hansol's beautiful white smile was pointed in his direction. He didn't seem to notice the fact that Youngho had seen his bruises; he rolled onto his side, still smiling at Youngho. He leaned his head against his hand, and his smile faded into one with no teeth-- only lips. Youngho thought, briefly, that that was his favorite kind of kiss.

 **Y** ellow slid beneath Youngho's fingers as he traveled Hansol's body-- a simple slide of his fingers up Hansol's arm as he brought Hansol into a hug. Hansol was confused-- didn't realize Youngho had seen his pain, but he accepted the hug anyway. And, up close, Youngho was able to notice the fading bruises on Hansol's arms-- the ugly yellow of fingers that gripped too hard and hit too hard, and Youngho had to close his eyes and take a deep breath to prevent himself from getting angry again, from squeezing Hansol too hard or lashing out. He couldn't do that to Hansol; he couldn't do that to himself. He was selfish, after all; he lived a life of jealous love and he didn't think that would ever change.


End file.
